Know Your People

The Uncomfortable Truth

Here's a test. Put your phone in a drawer. Now write down the phone numbers of the five most important people in your life.

Done? Most people can't get past two. Some can't get past zero.

That's not a tech problem. That's a vulnerability. Your phone is a single point of failure for your entire social infrastructure. Every contact, every address, every plan you've ever made — locked behind a battery and a screen.

This chapter is about fixing that. Not with an app. Not with a cloud backup. With pen, paper, and five minutes of honest thinking about who actually matters when things go wrong.

If you don't have a clear answer to that, everything else in this book doesn't matter yet. This is step one. This is the ground floor. Know your people.

Immediate Family — People Under Your Roof

Start with the people you see every day. The ones sleeping in the next room. If you can't coordinate with them in a crisis, nothing else works.

What You Need for Each Person

• Full legal name — as it appears on their ID. Not nicknames. If you need to ask a hospital or police for information about someone, "my kid Buddy" won't get you anywhere.
• Date of birth — hospitals, shelters, and authorities use this for identification.
• Cell phone number — memorize it. Yes, actually memorize it. Write it down too, but put the work in to know it cold.
• Work or school address — not just the name of the building. The actual street address. "Downtown somewhere" isn't a location.
• Medical conditions and medications — allergies, prescriptions, blood type if you know it. This isn't paranoia. It's basic information that ER doctors will ask you.
• A recent photo — printed. Not on your phone. If you're looking for someone, you need to show people what they look like.

The Family Meeting Point

Every family needs two meeting points agreed upon in advance:

1. Near home — a specific spot within walking distance. The big oak tree at the park. The mailbox at the corner of Elm and 5th. Not "around the neighborhood." A specific spot.
2. Away from home — in case the whole area is affected. A relative's house in another town. A church. A landmark everyone knows. Somewhere you'd go if home isn't an option.

Write these down. Say them out loud at dinner. Make sure your kids can repeat them back to you. This is not a drill you do once and forget. It's a conversation you have regularly until it's automatic.

Extended Family and Close Friends

After your immediate household, think about the next ring outward. Parents, siblings, in-laws, your closest friend. People who would take you in. People you'd drive across state lines for.

For each of them, you need:

• Phone number — written on paper, not just stored digitally
• Home address — full street address including city, state, zip
• Relationship — sounds obvious until you're handing this list to someone else who needs to make calls on your behalf

Workplace Contacts

You spend a third of your life at work. If something happens during the workday, you need to know how to reach your workplace and how they can reach you.

What to Have on Paper

• Your employer's main phone number — the one that goes to the front desk or operator, not your direct line
• Your supervisor's cell phone — ask for it. Explain why. Any decent manager will understand.
• HR or emergency contact line — most companies have one. Most employees have never saved it.
• Workplace address — the full address, including suite or floor number
• One trusted coworker's number — someone who would notice if you didn't show up

If your spouse works, you need the same information for their workplace. If your employer has an emergency notification system, make sure you're registered. If they don't, that's worth mentioning to someone.

School Contacts

If you have kids, this section isn't optional. It's the most important one.

Parents put their kid on the bus, watch them wave goodbye, and go about their day assuming everything's fine. And 99.9% of the time, it is. But that 0.1% is what this book is about.

For Every School Your Child Attends

• School main office number — memorize this one. Seriously. This is a non-negotiable number to have in your head.
• School address — full street address. Not "the school on Oak Street."
• Teacher's name and direct number — if available. At minimum, their email and the grade/room number.
• School nurse or health office — separate number if they have one
• Bus route number and driver info — if your child takes the bus
• After-school program contact — if applicable
• Who is authorized for pickup — know the list. Update it. Make sure the school has current photos of authorized people.

Daycare and Preschool

Same rules apply, but with even more urgency. Younger children can't advocate for themselves. They can't tell someone your phone number. They might not even know their last name yet. Make sure the facility has multiple emergency contacts, and make sure those contacts know they're listed and what it means.

Important People and Emergency Services

Beyond your personal circle, there are numbers and contacts that become critical in a crisis. Don't assume you'll be able to Google them.

Emergency Services

• Local police non-emergency line — 911 is for emergencies. The non-emergency line is for everything else. Know both.
• Local fire department — non-emergency number
• Nearest hospital and urgent care — name, address, phone number. Know which one is closest to your home and which is closest to your work.
• Poison control — 1-800-222-1222 (US). Stick this on the fridge.

Professional Contacts

• Family doctor / pediatrician — name, office number, address
• Dentist — emergency dental situations happen more than you'd think
• Pharmacy — the one that has your prescriptions on file
• Insurance agent — health, auto, home. You'll want this after any significant event.
• Lawyer — if you have one. If you don't and you own property or have kids, that's another conversation.
• Accountant or financial advisor — someone who knows your financial situation

Utilities and Services

• Electric company — to report outages
• Water company — to report issues
• Gas company — especially if you smell gas. Know how to shut off your gas line too.
• Landlord or property manager — if you rent
• Plumber and electrician — a trusted one you've used before, not whoever shows up first on Google

Your Neighbors

This one's easy to skip, and most people do. But your neighbors are the closest help you'll ever have. They're closer than the fire department. Closer than your family across town. Closer than 911 response times.

You don't need to be best friends. You need to know:

• Their names
• Their phone numbers (at least the ones on either side and across from you)
• Whether anyone has medical training, tools, or skills that could matter
• Whether they have kids, elderly family members, or pets — people who'd need extra help

Knock on the door. Introduce yourself if you haven't. Exchange numbers. It takes five minutes and it could matter more than anything else in this chapter.

Putting It All Together

Here's what you do this week. Not next month. Not "when you get around to it." This week.

1. Fill out the worksheet below — print it. Use a pen. Don't do this digitally.
2. Make copies — one stays at home in a known location (kitchen drawer, binder on the shelf). One goes in your car. One goes in your go-bag if you have one.
3. Memorize the critical five — spouse, kids' school, your parents, one sibling or close friend, and your out-of-area contact. Five numbers. Commit them to memory.
4. Have the conversation — sit down with your family. Share the meeting points. Quiz each other. Make it normal, not scary.
5. Update it every six months — people move. Numbers change. Schools switch. Put a reminder on your calendar.

That's it. That's Chapter 1. No gear to buy. No bunker to build. Just knowing your people and being able to reach them when it counts.